When I read the first line of this book, I didn’t think I was going to be able to finish it. Not because it was bad but because it struck a chord within me and brought up something I wasn’t sure I wanted to revisit.
When someone you love dies, there is a grace period during which you can get away with murder. Not literal murder, but pretty much anything else.
Grief is such a personal thing and effects people in so many different ways. Losing a loved one changes you irrevocably and even years later there are triggers that can pull you back into a moment where your life feels like it is falling apart again. At least that’s how it is for me.
The back of the book blurb didn’t prepare me for what was in store for me. And, quite honestly I may not have read it if I knew. But I’m glad I did.
Lauren Blakely is one of those one click authors for me. I think I’ve read all of her books since I picked up Big Rock and I’m never disappointed. She does write in first person present tense, which can turn some readers off and a lot of her books are from a single POV (point-of-view), but if you can get past that then her books always leave me feeling good. This book was no different. I read it in one four-hour sitting. I ugly cried. It was one of the best books I’ve read, but maybe not for the reasons the author intended.
Read the Back-of-the-Book Blurb
This is the story of Andrew who is dealing with the loss of his brother. His grief is palpable and mirrored a lot of what I felt when I was deep in my own grief. To complicate matters, the woman he loved and lost, Holland, is back in his life and he wants her to stay, but he is not ready to love again.
Holland knows that getting involved with him would be a mistake. She knows she would only be a short term solution, a bandaid for the pain he is in. But she never stopped loving him and she wants to be there for him even if it means having her own heart stomped all over.
I’ve tried really hard to not be too spoiler-y in this review, but if you’re worried, please don’t read any further.
This book, for me, was more a study on the journey of grief than anything else. Yes, it is a romance and there is a love story with happy ever after, but woven in between is Andrew’s very real peregrination to his new normal without his brother.
There are no more sympathy cards. They have all come and gone. The sorrys, the prayers, the my thoughts are with yous are over. Everyone has said what they need to say, and everyone has moved on to their noisy, everyday lives.
This is what I loved about the book so much. Too many times I’ve read stories that don’t deal with grief in a realistic way. But I could feel Andrew’s grief reach out and grab me. A lot of his thoughts had been mine.
In coming to terms with Ian’s (Andrew’s brother) death, Andrew discovers that there were things about his brother that he didn’t know…or at least didn’t understand and he is determined to find out everything he can to try and make sense of a brother he is beginning to think he didn’t really know. It asks the question, do we really know the people we love? Do we truly understand their dreams, desires and motivations?
My brother’s life was all it could be. He made sure of that.
Because there is no magic cure. There is no secret remedy, no ancient tincture that could have saved him, that could save anyone. The magic is in how he lived, how he died, and the way he loved. Even in his death, he’s shown me how to live and how to love.
The above passage is one I think we can all take something from. In the end, we are all going to die. Depressing as hell, but true all the same. There is no magic remedy to save us, but how we live in the time given us is what is important. The person I lost only lived until her twenties and she knew that death would come for her early. She made the decision to experience as much life as she could, while she could. In her short life she experienced more than I have, and I have lived nearly twice as long as she did. There is something to learn from that and the lesson that Andrew needs to learn before he and Holland can find their happy-ever-after.
Sometimes we know the truth, but we can’t face it for whatever reason.
Lauren Blakely’s books are generally a lot more light-hearted than this one (Big Rock, Joy Ride, Mr. O, Well Hung & Full Package to name a few) and I’m not usually a person who chooses to read something that is going to make me cry, but I really did love this book and I wholeheartedly recommend it. It’s not going to be a book that everyone likes because of the very raw nature of it, but if you feel like a good cry and a book that is going to grab you by the heart and squeeze, then this is the book for you.
Buy the Book!
