Ten things I’ve learned as a romance author in ten years of writing
Ten years ago, I hit “publish” on my very first romance novel. My heart was pounding, my expectations were modest, but my dreams were impossibly big. I had no idea that moment would change my life.
The evolution of a book cover – my first book, Walk of Shame
A decade—and 70 of stories—later, I’ve learned more than I ever expected. About writing. About business. About readers. And, most importantly, about myself.
1. Romance isn’t a Dirty Word
Romance books get trashed constantly. They are accused of being poor quality, giving women unrealistic expectations, and of being “mommy p*rn”. But, for me, romance books have been my safe space. I have always read romance, but in the early 2010s, I was going through a particularly difficult time and romance books were there for me. They helped me deal with my anxiety and depression and grief through that time. But, beyond that, they also taught me that it was okay for me to expect more. It was okay for me to want more. And most importantly, they taught me it was okay to take up space. It seems to me that women are constantly being told to make themselves smaller – their body size, their voices, and their expectations. Romance books taught me that it was okay to be a different shape, be loud, be unconventional, and to expect to be treated with care and consideration.
2. Writing Romance can be Life-Changing
And I don’t mean financially, although, for sure, there are authors out there whose lives have been changed by the money they make. I have the utmost respect for those authors, because it isn’t easy to make a living in this business. But writing romance changed my life because I learned so much about myself. I can look back at my early work and compare it to my later work and see the progression. I am a different person. I am more confident. I have more conviction about my opinions and I am more open-minded. Those two last things seem to be contradictory, but being open-minded it has given me more conviction about the importance of diversity, tolerance and just being a decent human being.
3. Readers Are Everything
I started writing for myself. I wrote because it gave me an outlet for all the emotions that were swirling around in my head. It gave me a way to make sense of the complicated world I lived in. But that changed the day I got my first reader email. Romance readers are loyal, vocal, and full of heart. They’ve taught me what resonates, what surprises them, and what they want more of. Listening to them doesn’t mean compromising my voice—it means honouring the people you’re connecting with.
4. The Market Changes—And So Have I
Trends shift and people change. What worked in 2015 might flop in 2025. But I’ve evolved too. Along the way I have adapted: tropes, cover styles, release strategies, but also themes. It is important to me that my words say something beyond just a great story. I am a firm believer that stories and real life are symbiotic—they influence each other. The current state of the world will influence what is being written but the things that are being written also have the ability to influence the current state of the world. I want my words to add to the conversation.
5. Write What You Love, But Know the Landscape
Yes, passion matters. Yes, I need to write the stories burning inside me. But also, I need to understand the landscape. What are reader expectations? What do readers want to read now? Why is romantasy and dystopian romance so popular now? What does it say about the world we live in and why people need to escape into these fictional worlds? And how can my voice add to this? It doesn’t mean I will stop writing the things I’ve always written, there is still a place for those, it just means I get to branch out and try something new. And that’s exciting.
6. Burnout is Real. Boundaries are Necessary.
Writing full-time is a dream come true—but it’s not always dreamy. Deadlines (especially self-imposed ones), reader expectations, and comparison can burn you out fast. I’ve learned that the hard way. So now I take breaks, protect my creativity, and forgive myself when I need to pause. I spent years writing fast until I couldn’t do it anymore. The well dried up and I was at a loss. I thought my career was over. Slowly I’ve been clawing my way back. I’ve also learned that I need more than just writing in my life. This is why I went to university. It’s why I do art classes. It’s very easy to make my whole identity about being an author, but that’s not how good stories are made. If I don’t experience things outside being an author, how can I write about them?
7. Community Over Competition
Other authors are not my competition—they’re my colleagues. Finding fellow authors who understand the unique highs and lows of this career saved me more than once. Sharing knowledge, lifting each other up, and celebrating each other’s wins makes this journey so much richer. This was why I went to university, because I want to share my experience with emerging writers. This is why I work at Queensland Writers Centre, because I get to spend time with other writers and build community. Writing can be such a solo experience, it’s really great to meet other people and share the unique experience of being an author with them.
8. Every Book is a New Beginning
You never “arrive” in this business. There’s always a new book to write, a new reader to reach, a new story to tell. Some books take off. Others barely make a ripple. But each one taught me something, and that keeps me going. Each new book is a chance for me to experience another life. There is a quote by George R. R. Martin that says, ‘A reader lives a thousand lives before they die. The man who never reads lives only one.’ I like to think this applies to authors as well. Writing feels like living the life of my characters and I will get to be a whole lot of different people with different jobs and families and experiences from the comfort of my office chair.
9. Imposter Syndrome Doesn’t Go Away—I’ve Just Gotten Louder Than It
Even after ten years, I still sometimes question whether I’m “good enough.” That little voice doesn’t vanish, but I’ve learned to out-talk it. I remind myself of reader messages, milestones, and the fact that I’ve kept showing up to the page. Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s a choice you make again and again. Comparison is the thief of joy, and I’ve learned rather than comparing myself to other authors, to be grateful that I am privileged enough to be able to do a job I love. And if I am an imposter, then I’m a pretty good one. I also remind myself that someone somewhere made the decision to make ‘Sharknado’ so maybe my books aren’t so bad after all.
10. My Definition of Success Has Changed (and That’s Okay)
When I started, success meant making a bestseller list. Then it was hitting a certain income goal. Later, it became writing full-time. Each time I hit a milestone, I discovered new versions of fulfillment—creative freedom, writing what I love, hearing from readers whose lives were touched. My ideas of success have evolved as I did. Money and fame, although they’d be nice additions to my life, don’t motivate me. Writing does. Writing the story of my heart and sharing it with my readers is what keeps me telling my stories to the world.
Final Thoughts
Ten years later, I’m still in love—with writing, with romance, and with the wild, wonderful world of self-publishing. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s always been worth it.
Here’s to the next ten years—and all the stories still to come.
Want to keep track of all the books you’ve read by me? Here are two handy downloads. One is a cute bookshelf that you can colour in, the other is a simple check list. They’re both free and can be printed out or filled in on your tablet.
